Presented to The Salvation Army Alberni Valley Ministries, 05 March 2023, by Major Michael Ramsay
Matthew 18:15-20 is an
important pericope. The context of Jesus’ words here is very important. It follows
Jesus’ encouragement to us that he will leave even the many who are doing well enough
to help out the one who isn’t, and it precedes his encouragement to forgive
people forever and for always. Matthew 18:15-20 talks about the church and how
we are to get along with each other and it can also be extended to how we
should operate in the world at large.
Matthew 18:15, “If your
brother or sister [adelphos: fellow Christian] sins, [hamartanō:
misses the mark] go and point out their fault, [elencho: help them feel
conviction] just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won
them over.” Paraphrase: If someone does something wrong by accident or design, kindly
help them see their error in private. If they understand and are willing to
chat, the matter is solved.
Believe it or not, you
will probably have a disagreement with someone sometime. Believe it or not, you
will probably have a disagreement with someone who goes to a church or even
this church sometime. And, believe it or not, you will be wrong sometime –
really, it is true. I don’t know if that has happened to you ever yet or not
but it might… and if it does this is how Matthew says we should receive help
from each other:
If we accidentally or otherwise
do something to someone, they should come and chat with us about it. They
should let us know what we have done -just between the two of us- and if they
do, the matter will be settled.
This is one of the most
basic steps in morality and ethics. This is a key aspect of a Christian
lifestyle. If a Christian (and I would say any decent human being) has a
problem with something someone has done, they will go speak to them directly –
one-on-one. This is important. This is one of the things that define a decent
human being. Think of what the other options are:
1)
Do
nothing. This cannot be right – ever. As I paraphrased a quote often attributed
to Edmond Burke in a letter to city council the other week, "The only
thing necessary for evil to triumph in the world is that good men do
nothing."
2)
Gossip.
Gossip, of course, is evil. Gossip is included in lists of attributes of those
who deny God. A prime example is Romans 1:29b-32 where it says,
"...gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they
invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they have no
understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. Although they know God’s
righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death...."
When we are faced with someone who is
struggling against sin those are our only 3 options: 1) Tell others about it;
not them. This is gossip. This is bad 2) Keep your thoughts to yourself; this
is abandoning others so that they are consumed by sin. This is bad or 3) The
right option: talk to the person to their face. This is what we are supposed to
do when we are Christians. And the reason the Bible gives for this is that the
person may see the error of their way, repent and then all is well. Another
reason for speaking to the person directly is that we may be wrong – they may
not actually be trapped by the sin that we think that are.
The next step in extending God’s love to
someone trapped in a sin (once it has been established and assuming that
everything isn’t resolved after you have spoken to them in private) is to bring
someone else along. A second person can hear the story, make sure there are no
misunderstandings or miscommunication, and they can help you convey the love
you feel for the person that you are hoping and praying will be delivered from
whatever this sin is that is dragging them down.
And then the third step -assuming the first two
steps haven’t freed the person from their sin- is to go to others who love
them, other members of the congregation, good Christians whom you and they
trust, the Church, and invite them to engage your friend in a conversation in
the hopes that they will be freed from whatever the sin is that is dragging
them down.
And, if that doesn’t even work, after that - step
4 -you still don’t give up on them. You give them even more grace.[1] You know that you expect
more of some people than you do of others. You expect an 18-year-old to be more
able to do things than an 8-year-old. You expect someone who has been on the job
10 years to be able to do more than someone who has been on the job 10 minutes.
It is the same with Christians. Don’t give up on someone just because we think
they should know better. If they aren’t acting like they know better than it is
unfair of us to have the expectation that they do – no matter how long they
have been coming to church! (How long we have known someone is no excuse for us
to treat them poorly) We understand that sin can entangle even long-time
Christians; so, we should show the same patience with them as we would with
those who are brand new or not yet in the faith (this may involve suspending soldiership
or a denominational equiviallent), who we do not expect to know any better.
Verses 18 and 19 then encourage us to not give
up on our friend who is trapped in sin because whenever 2 or 3 of us are
gathered (as in the example above) as long as what we are asking is actually on
behalf of Jesus (in His Name), God will grant it; so let us not give up on one another!
[2]
Peter hears all of this about restoring someone
who has sinned against him and he says, in effect, ‘whoa…okay; but how long do
I have to do this?’ ‘How long do I have to keep supporting this fellow to help
him out of his sin?’ ‘How many times should I go through these steps with
someone before I just say forget it – seven times? ‘No’ Jesus says, ‘seventy
times seven times’. This is important we aren’t supposed to write anyone off (possible
exception being the apostate); we are supposed to keep loving them away from
sin and towards salvation.
I will read again Jesus’ parable that he shared
with Peter to express this point, Jesus says:
23 “Therefore, the
kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his
servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags
of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered
that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the
debt.
26 “At this the servant
fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay
back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt
and let him go.
28 “But when that
servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred
silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe
me!’ he demanded.
29 “His fellow servant
fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
30 “But he refused.
Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the
debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and
went and told their master everything that had happened.
32 “Then the master
called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt
of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your
fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to
the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35 “This is how my
heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or
sister from your heart.”
This my friends is what
the Bible says about Church discipline. This my friends is what the Bible says
about holiness. This my friends is what the Bible says about love. This my friends
is how we are all supposed to treat each other – be patient with each other in
affliction (specifically here sin); do not give up on each other; and forgive
one another always and forever.
We are supposed to love
our friends enough that whatever it is that they are going through (sin or
otherwise) that is messing up their life we will do everything to try and help
them and if they hurt you in the process – forgive them; and if they hurt you
again, forgive them again; and if they hurt you again, forgive them again. Do
not give up on them. Keep gathering together and praying for one another. As we
stick by each other like this, as we help each other like this, as we love each
other like this, surely we will all get to heaven and when we do what a day of
rejoicing that will be.
Let us pray...
[1] Cf.
Douglas R.A. Hare, ‘Matthew’, (Interpretation: Louisville, Kentucky:
John Knox Press, 1993), 214. But, for a contrary opinion, cf. D.A. Carson, The
Expositor's Bible Commentary, Pradis CD-ROM:Matthew/Exposition of Matthew/
Treatment of a sinning brother (18:15-20), Book Version: 4.0.2
[2] J.
Duncan M. Derrett quoted in The Expositor's Bible Commentary, Pradis
CD-ROM:Matthew/Exposition of Matthew/ Treatment of a sinning brother
(18:15-20), Book Version: 4.0.2 : ("Where two or three are convened in my
name … `: a sad misunderstanding," ExpT 91 [1979-80]: 83-86) has argued
that vv. 19-20 do not deal with prayer at all. The two who agree are the
offender and the one against whom the offense has been committed. They come to
agreement on earth about any judicial matter they have been pursuing: the verb
aiteisthai can refer to "pursuing a claim," as well as asking in
prayer (cf. F. Preisigke, Worterbuch der griechischen Papyrusurkunden, mit
Einschluss der griechischen Inschriften, Aufschriften, Ostraka, Mumienschilder,
usw. aus agypten, ed. E. Kiessling, 4 vols. [Berlin: 1927-31], s.v.). The
promise, then, is that if two individuals in the church come to agreement
concerning any claim they are pursuing (presumably on the basis of the church's
judgment, v. 18), "it will be allowed, ratified (literally it shall
succeed, come off) on the part of my heavenly Father" (Derrett, "Two
or three," p. 84). This is because God's will and purpose stand behind the
binding and loosing of v. 18 and also because ("for," v. 20) the
presence of Jesus is assured with the two or three who are (lit.) "brought
together"—judges solemnly convened before the church and by the church to
render a decision
[3] The passage is not speaking about God's forgiveness of us as much as it is our forgiveness of one another. Cf. Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13 where God's forgiveness of us precedes our forgiveness of others; cf. also Psalm 86:5, 1 John 1:9; Psalm 103:12; 130:3-4; Daniel 9:9; Isaiah 43:25
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